Ashtabula County Children Services Board

Never, Never Shake A Baby

The Los Angeles Times recently reported that a father was sentenced to seven years in prison for shaking his two month old son. The father is a 26 year old petty officer in the Navy. The petty officer had no criminal record and no history of abusing children. The probation department recommended that the father be given probation.
What's Behind the Sentence
Judge Davidson sentenced Petty Officer James Powers to the maximum sentence that he could impose to send a message to other parents who might be tempted to shake their babies to stop them from crying. "I think others need to know - this tragedy should not be repeated," Judge Davidson said.

Another major factor in the judge's decision was the extent of the injuries suffered by Power's son, Michael. Judge Davidson had Michael brought into the court by his foster mother, so that he could assess the extent of the injuries. Michael, who is now one, is quadriplegic, severely brain damaged and prone to uncontrollable seizures.
The Facts About Shaken Baby Syndrome
It is estimated that 800 to 1200 children are hospitalized each year for shaken baby syndrome. Shaken baby syndrome accounts for approximately 10 to 12 percent of the 2,000 child abuse deaths that occur in the United States each year. Twenty to twenty-five percent of infants exposed to shaken baby syndrome die as a result of being shaken. Most survivors of shaken baby syndrome suffer brain damage resulting in lifelong cerebral palsy, visual defects, or cognitive impairment.
What to Do
If your child shows any of these symptoms take him directly to a hospital emergency room:
· Dilated pupils
· Seizures or spasms
· Breathing problems
· Semi consciousness
· Swollen head along with nausea
· Blood spots or pooling in the eye
Never touch a child in anger. Remind yourself that infants are not ready to control their emotions. Crying is the only way that they have of expressing distress. Kidsense, a monthly parents' magazine printed in Dayton, recommends that parents take the following steps when they feel that they might lash out in anger at a child:
Take a deep breath. And another. Remember that you are the adult.
· Close your eyes. Pretend that you are hearing what your child is about to hear.
· Press your lips to and count to ten or 20
· Put yourself in a time out chair. Think about why you are angry
· Call a friend.
· Take a hot bath.
· Splash water on your face.
· Hug a pillow
· Turn on some music
· Write down as many helpful words as you can think of. Save the list.

Building Your Childs Self Esteem

Your child's self-esteem is their self-image, or how they feel about themselves. Self-esteem affects the way they think, act and feel. Their self-esteem will be an important factor in achieving their life goals and being happy in their lives.
There are many reasons why children can get down on themselves. Children probably have more things to worry about today than ever before. Leaps in communication and technology and increased mobility have complicated our children's perspective of the world. Yet, we expect them to grow up so fast and without any problems. It's not surprising that children get discouraged.

Fortunately, there are many ways we can help build children's self-esteem.

Share your experiences, ideas and goals with your child. Sometimes we don't realize what a positive impact, just a few minutes of our time, can have on a child.
Encourage independence by helping your child to look within themselves for choices or decisions.
Love your child unconditionally and accept their shortcomings as part of being human.
Focus on your child's progress, not their problems. Listen to the way they feel about their lives, welcome their ideas and address their concerns.

Encourage excellence. Expect positive results from everything your child does, but accept failure as well as success.
Set good examples for your child by adhering to your values and maintaining your convictions. Be a role model.
Try involving your child in the day-to-day decision-making, whenever possible. Ask their opinion to give them a sense of responsibility and belonging.
Encourage your child to participate, to be expressive and utilize their thinking skills to communicate in a non-threatening manner.
Emphasize Education by working closely with your child's school to insure the best possible education for them.
Make the effort to know your child's friends and their friends' families. If necessary, be the parent to set limits and values.

A positive self-esteem helps a child accept challenges and cope with change. It maintains self-confidence and enriches relationships. Help your child be the best person they can be by nurturing their self-esteem.
For a free reminder card with these tools for building self-esteem, call Children Services - 998-1811.

Being A Father

Someone recently ask me to speak to a group of young people about what it's like being a father. My initial reaction was to try to find a reason not to accept. I just didn't think that I was "qualified" for this most important perspective. But the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Although I'm sure I was not prepared for fatherhood initially and in spite of the feelings of inadequacy which still creep in here and there, it is a role that I have come to thoroughly enjoy. So this week, I'd like to share with you some of my experiences and my impressions of being a father.
Being a parent has been a lot different than I expected. As a young boy growing up, I looked at my parents kind of like a security blanket, always there when you needed a hug, keeping you safe from the dangers of the world. By the time I became a young man and was approaching marriage my image of fatherhood had evolved. I relished the idea of being a father, of having a son that looked up to me, of just being Dad. I looked forward to showing my son how to play ball, to teaching him about life, to molding and shaping him the way I thought he should be. I don't know what I planned to do if I had a daughter!
But for me, parenting has been more of a rollercoaster! Its started like this almost immediately, when the joy and anticipation of the birth of our first-born son turned to anguish and then panic when the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck.
Fortunately everything worked out that day. Thad Desmond Kerosky was born May 18, 1985. Now, eleven years and two children later I'm finally getting accustomed to the ups and downs of parenting. I've accepted that bringing up children today is a great challenge, probably the greatest I'll ever undertake. There are moments of overwhelming joy and great satisfaction, but interspersed are exhaustion, frustration and sacrifice.
If I ever author a dictionary of parenting terms, it will certainly include words like "precious" and "irresistible", but also terms such as "sibling rivalry", "sleepless nights" and "lost patience". There would be oldie-but-goodies like "cool" and "awesome". One of the most used words would be "homework"! Perhaps the hardest to find would be "trust".

Through all of this I have grown as a parent,…albeit not so gracefully! Whatever the difficulties, they never seem to overshadow the gifts the children bring. Their innocence and love are a constant. They have inspired a rebirth of my own childhood. The time we spend together reading or playing games brings back those special memories with my father.
I have learned from my children. I can see their uniqueness. I treasure those qualities that makes each one of them different and special. I have changed as a parent. Maybe I've become more cynical, more sensitive or just more set-in-my-ways. It's still a struggle sometimes, but being a father is a role I've kind of grown into and dearly love. I think being a father is more than just what people call you when you have a child. It is not something you are, but something you become, through nurturing and dedication. It is a challenge, a commitment that you can either accept or reject, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a profound impact on the life of a child or leave them to the world.
One thing is for sure. I have a healthier respect for this great responsibility called parenting.

Nick Kerosky
Community Services Coordinator
Ashtabula County Children Services
PO Box 1175
Ashtabula, Ohio 44005-1175
April 19, 1996
For Immediate Release - Contact: Nick Kerosky - 998-1811